I have to say I love the Biffy album, even though you are corrent, formulated for record sales. lissie should be on this list.
My point was that musically it isn’t remotely as interesting as their previous work. It’s just dull MOR rock in a Scottish accent as far as I can tell. Just Snow Patrol without decent emotion.
for the depth of music that the mercury requires ‘only revolutions’ doesn’t stand up at all. I really want Villagers to win, but I doubt it as it’s all about shock tactics these days.
D’you think if I actually legally changed my name, people would call me it? Words can’t describe how much I hate Natasha. Oh hiya, Russian prostitute with a moustascha!
i’d prefer natasha over megan anyday! i hate my name!
Even though I’m moving back up to Edinburgh to hopefully continue into my second year of studying, I feel like now I’m ready for it, I don’t think I was ready at all last year and it may have been one of the many things that contributed to my failure. I almost feel like this is it , i’m ready now to blossom and flourish at university.
Hopefully I’ll be able to make up for the mistakes of last year and prove my worth this year. I’m working on it.
On another note, I can’t wait to leave because my parents, the day before I go, are fed up of me, and my mother ‘won’t miss any of this rubbish’ that i throw at her everyday. They think it’s fine to screech at me but as soon as I defend myself I’m classed as ungrateful, a drama queen with no concept of money.
‘Everything is paid for you, poor you what a bad life you must have’ - Mum
‘I just want you to talk to me like I’m 19, or human, or respected.’ - Me.
I just hope my boyfriend arrives before they go off on one again, otherwise it’ll get worse. I know if he’s here, they’ll calm their shit because they know, just as I know, that what they say is unreasonable, unfair and damn harsh.
For the record. I love my parents, who live in Nigeria most of the time, who took my little sister (who i hardly see) to Disneyland Paris however I was not invited (that hurt like fuck. further supporting my theory I don’t fit into their perfect family), who proclaim everytime we argue that I have no money of my own, that everything I have is theirs, that my car, flat and freedom can be taken away so easily by them. When I get a job I’m going to start saving little bits of money, which someday I can give to them and say ‘Here, I know exactly about the concept and worth of money, have this, it means nothing to me in comparison to the fact that you are my blood and my family, thus i would do anything for you.’ I would do that to show them that even though yes, I cost them lots of money and I feel guilty about that all the fucking time, I know that money is not everything, and sorry to sound like a silly girl, but I think love is.
They call it ‘unconditional love’ for a reason. I have unconditional love for them, they have conditional economical love for me.
and they’ve started on me already because I was reading a book instead of studying. This may make me sound mentally ill but when they get on at me like this I really want to scream fuck off at the top of my lungs and break something, or repetitively slam my door, haha yeah that does sound mental! until they get the fucking message.
also, had a nice wee bowl of cornflakes for breakfast and while getting milk out the fridge i spotted some baked potatoes. so i thought ‘oh, later on i’m well having a baked potato with tuna for me lunch’ then about 5 minutes later my mum comes down so i say ‘hey how about for lunch later we have baked potatoes and tuna?’ (yday she was going on about how she wanted to eat healthier) to which i got this weird look at ‘eh obviously not right now its 10 o clock in the morning megan you can’t eat rubbish this early in the morning’ (showing your nutritional skillz there mother, baked potato and tuna be healthy eejit). How exactly was I suggesting we fucking ate again right there and then so she made me feel like a fucking idiot as per usual.
Now I’m not to read my book ( how dare i ) i’ve to do fucking studying again. I did it from yesterday afternoon til basically going to bed last night, i was planning to do it in the afternoon again. fucksake! i hate being controlled so much. i’m 19 not fucking 6. when i tell any of my friends stuff that goes on with my mum and dad they all agree that they’re far too harsh.
admittedly, i should be doing better at university, but i’m trying to now, and i don’t need her breathing down my fucking neck every 5 minutes.
i hate blogging about parents, when i see other people do it i feel like they’re being spoiled or something like that, but now i see it’s because they don’t know what else to do.
Finished my resit work for today, I basically took all the work I’ve done so far and final drafted it onto my laptop.
Now it’s time for a wee bath with my book and some list writing. I stopped because someone commented that list writing was stupid and weird and I listened. And i’ve been so goddamn disorganised ever since!
P.s tomorrow I am going a long walk in the morning, down to the beach to take some pictures and do a bit of thinking. I’m going to decide what exactly I need to work on to stop a fuck-up like this year happening again.
My mother has been shouting at me since I got in at 10 am this morning. I stayed at my boyfriends last night after going out with his family for their anniversary. It was a really good night but everytime I spend time with other peoples families I realise how shit mines is. Theres such a barrier between my parents and me, I still can’t say what I want and i’m 19! I’m at the end of my tether. My mum and I started arguing and she called me a tramp, followed by ‘you got no work done yesterday because you spent the day doing your hair’ so which is it mum? I’m vain or a tramp? fucking decide.
She also got on at me for even going out last night and she is constantly asking me how much work I’ve finished for resits. I really wish she would leave me alone.
At the same time as finishing this resit work I’ve to start packing to move. So she’s not happy when I start tidying/packing because I should be studying, and when I study she goes on about the mess. I can’t do both at one time so at the minute I’m doing neither. She listens to half a sentence then just brushes me off, her lack of interest is astounding. I tried to have a wee chat with her about how my night went and she just didn’t give a fuck. ‘go tidy, go wash, go study, go get me my money, go tell me how much your overdraft is, dont speak to me like that or i’ll take that car off you, howwwww much are resits? you shouldn’t even have resits! (i’m aware of that ma do you think i’m chuffed about it?) I can’t believe this. go get me my purse i have to pay for your rent, yet another thing i have to pay for. HOWWW much?! YOU DIDN’T GET A RECEIPT WITH YOUR PASSPORT? I TOLD YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN AT LEAST 4 TIMES AND YOU COULDN’T EVEN DO THAT?’
just, fuck. off.
the word’s I’VE FUCKED UP MY LIFE AND I’M ONLY 19 constantly playing on your mind.
why the fuck!